Bankor

Ashla was staring at herself in a mirror as she waited for her guest. The more she looked, the more she confirmed her suspicions. But was it because she saw the truth finally after this time? Or is it because it is something she always desired? Was she happy? Or was she pissed? Probably both.

Cole was confused by the communication he’d received, but he tracked down a bottle a whiskey and brought it with him. He hit his comm, “Ashla? I’m here.”

"Come in." When Cole came in, Kidaja the Goat woke up and made goat noises* before Ashla hushed him up. When Cole came to the common room, Ashla was still looking at the mirror.

*Ashla's player is apparently more tired than he thinks and can't think of what noises goats make right at this moment.

Cole paused to pat Kidaja. He watched Ashla examine herself for several long, silent moments before placing the whiskey on the table. “How’s things?” he prompted.

Ashla turns and motions Cole to sit and tosses her lightsaber on the table.

"Amazing. Terrible. Stupid. I dunno."

She takes deep breath and sits down. "I have always felt a connection to my lightsaber. It felt like my father. But it was built by my master." Ashla stares down at the lightsaber. "Yesterday, I was talking to a fellow padawan who was shocked that I never built my own lightsaber. She seemed as confuse as I was that I felt connected to it." Ashla pauses for a moment. "Then she said, she felt a connection to her ancestor's lightsaber, but didn't understand why I would feel one that way about a random the lightsaber."

Ashla picks up the lightsaber and holds in it front of her. "I've been thinking about this long and hard. What if it's not my father I'm feeling, but my mother?"

The mysteries of the Force were exactly that, and Cole didn't really understand what Ashla was talking about; still he sat down and waved the togruta to do the same. He opened the whiskey, the seal breaking with a satisfying CRACK! and gave her a querying look. "You've never spoken of your mother before."

"I never knew her. As far back as I can remember, it was me and dad. I had just assumed he killed her. His favorite targets were female togrutas. There is another common factor in his preferred targets that I can't talk about, but I can say Master Zyl fits it perfectly." She takes the whiskey from Cole's hands and takes a drink. *cough* *cough* "Damn. Guess I need to drink more." She hands him back the bottle. After composing herself, she goes on, "I take after my dad's coloring, but I can see how me and Master Zyl share a lot of facial features. And I remember the look on her face when she learned I was the daughter of Ruvrass Vyliss." Ashla laughs a bitter, sad laugh. "She called me Ashla. Now that I think about it, I never introduced myself while Sashto's assassins were after me."

Ashla looks down. "I should have seen it then. Her behavior changed immediately. I thought it was just pity at the time, but..."

The bottle faltered halfway to Cole's mouth as realisation came to him. He trawled the depth of his mind for the right response, and found none. Finally, he took a hefty swig from the bottle and set it down again. "But now you wonder if it was some sense of obligation?"

Ashla thinks for a moment. "I... I don't know. I guess. I mean, no. I know her enough that she would have done the same thing. Or at least, advocated for me if not take me as her padawan. And more questions about my father. I mean, I don't see Master Zyl hooking up with a deranged serial killer. Or simply hooking up at all. I mean, was he always like that?"

Ashla takes the bottle and another (smaller) drink. "The Oath. It's not what people assume. We simply don't become droids. We can't do away with all emotion, even if some try. But it does mean we need to act without emotion. I need to think of this logically." Ashla hands back the bottle. "You're calm and collected. Usually at least. What do you think I should do? Should I confront her directly? Look into more? Sneak a DNA sample first? I dunno. Your thoughts?"

"I don't think anyone expects a Jedi to be entirely devoid of emotion, but that's what the meditation's about, isn't it? About calming the mind to think logically about things?" Cole took another generous swig of whiskey, "Master Zyl is a Jedi as well, if there was anyone I needed to have a hard conversation with, I suppose you could do worse."

He ran a hand through his hair, "Ashla, if she is your mother," he changed tack, "I would want to know too; but before that, what will it mean to you, if she is?"

"I don't know. I haven't thought that much through. I mean, I guess it would depend on why she didn't tell me. Why she left me with dad. Maybe even why she was with dad. It might not change anything. She is still my Master. She is still my teacher. So, on the outside nothing might change. But on the inside. I don't know."

"Sounds like a lot of important questions." His hand went through his hair again, considering the multitudes of reasons Master Zyl could have had, "sounds to me like you have a pretty solid handle on things. You can't really armour yourself against the answers, but I'll be right here when you have them."

Ashla relaxes. "Thank you. I... I needed that. You're a good friend, Cole." After a second, "It kinda feels weird actually complimenting you to your face."

"I didn't imagine you were in the habit of complimenting me behind my back," he teased. "I don't suppose I properly thanked you for the other day," he ran a hand through his hair, "you've really improved these last two years."

"Maybe a little more than usual." As far as thanks, "Eh. Don't mention it. I am just glad you noticed. I actually have been studying these past few years."

"I'm not surprised, you're curious and you're good at it. I'd be shocked if I ever found out you'd given up medicine." Cole reached for the bottle and took another drink.