Bankor

"I never did like her," she said, to Niall's comment about Shaisha, then looked at Lunda when the conversation proceeded.

"Maybe that's why I'm a Jedi now, then. But I can't claim I just did it out of the kindness of my heart. I was supposed to be doing a job for another Sith, which turned personal for me and I ended up telling her to forcechoke herself, and meanwhile it'd all gotten me some threads to follow up to those kids and I just thought I'd see it through. Seemed the right thing to do, given everything."

This time, Niall didn't bother trying to hide the sudden flash of a smile at Layne's offhand comment.

He listened, his expression returning to its normal seriousness as she spoke. "I'm not a Jedi, of course." He said. "But 'seemed the right thing to do' seems as good a basis for choosing action as any."

He cleared his throat. "But seriously... can I ask what it's been like, this past year and a half?" His eyes flickered briefly over to Lunda; maybe Layne wouldn't be too forthcoming in front of another Jedi. Or maybe she wouldn't care. Always hard to tell with her.

"Often boring. Restrictive. Lots of dirty looks."

She turned her gaze away, watching some random people go about their business.

"But at least I don't have to murder people all the time anymore. So that's a plus."

Turning her gaze back to the two, she added; "Downside is I'm never getting my own frigate again."

"Would think the downside would be living as a Sith, it seems horrible," she added.

"Depends on your blood and how good you are at not getting assassinated by the apprentices of your competitors, I guess."

“Yeah that all sounds five kinds of terrible,” she responded.

“The Jedi build trust and support each other and we definitely don’t murder our Masters just to get ahead. That’s just dumb.”

"Most of the time it's the masters murdering the apprentices, or pitting their own apprentices against each other," she said, having some personal experience with both of those options. "apprentices are tools to them, nothing more. And when a tool outlives its usefulness, well that's that.

She just looked at Niall giving look that said see why she flipped sides…

Niall returned Lunda's look, adding the slightest of nods.

He turned back to Layne. "I grant that it certainly doesn't sound boring. It also sounds rather unproductive. Perhaps that was one of the five kinds of terrible Lunda was referring to?" He gave the Padawan a quick smile. "But questions of morality aside, and those are fairly significant, I have enough to do without worrying about being assassinated by a colleague. Or planning my own, I suppose."

"You'll never make it to general thinking like that."

"I don't think assassination is an important element of our military that I studied," Lunda responded.

"Maybe it was one of the elective classes that I missed. There's only so many courses you can take in Officer Training School." Niall said blandly.

"It's not like it's official course material on Korriban either, but you tend to learn how it works pretty quickly. Especially if you stand out."

"Hmmm." Niall considered that for a few moments, chewing his lip. "Did you stand out?"

"Oh," she actually smirked, which while not quite as disturbing as it might have been in the past, was still rather like the grin of a cheshire cat. "Yes. You could say that. They ended up calling me 'Little Wrath'. The night they gave me that nickname was actually a pretty good night, even with what preceded and followed it. The look on everyone's faces. Worth it."

Once again, Niall chewed his lip for a moment, considering, before he gave her a smile. One substantially less disturbing than hers.

"Lanye. You're going to follow that up with a story, aren't you? I mean, you can't say something like that and not follow up with an explanation. At least, I hope you can't?" Otherwise, truly there would be no bounds to her cruelty.

"I am not sure I want to hear it," Lunda replied. "Like my Master says, you have to let go of your past."

She looked at Lunda, and for a moment Niall's fears appeared to come to fruition, before Layne shrugged and she opened her mouth again.

"Well, they put these Sith overseers in charge of our education see? Ours was a real bitch. Hated my guts from day one since I was just a slave who'd somehow killed a Sith, which earned me a ticket to the academy. Also didn't like how I survived being throw in the middle of the desert with no supplies and no clue what the hell was even happening other than being told to make it to the academy. *Definitely* didn't like it when, after I made it back, I punched her in the face even though she dared me to. And *really, really, REALLY* didn't like how she only got to slash me with a lightsaber *once* before her master stopped her. I think you can guess her response when he started grooming me to be his next apprentice."

She stabbed a utensil at a blob of food, sticking it in her mouth and making short work of it before, halfway through chewing, continuing the story.

"So anyway, the faculty put on this high society party the next day, with all sorts of dignitaries and nobles visiting. Not to mention dark council members. Only the best thorough-bred students allowed to attend, of course. Which I'm not. So I just threathen the guards outside of the door and barge in anyway. Cue angry death glares, and me walking up and mocking the overseer. Who can't murder me in front of all those people because it'd be poor form or something, right?"

Layne stabbed at some more food.

"So she thinks she can get someone else to do it for her. Because like, there's this super scary dude there who everyone's afraid to talk to because he's the Emperor's Wrath. You know, the Emperor's personal executioner. Even the Dark Council's terrified of him. And the overseer thinks she can taunt this dumb slave into talking to him and get herself murdered on the spot, right?"

She put the food into her mouth, a good cliffhanger for a moment as she chewed on it for a bit.

"So anyway, I go talk to him. I'm like, what's up? Boom. Dead silence in the room. Like, everyone goes quiet like you see in the holos. Everyone's looking at me. Then the Wrath says my name, and compliments me on my lightsaber skills. Says I have the eye of the emperor on me, and invites me to join the conversation he was having with some council members. After that, everyone started calling me Little Wrath."

She leaned back in her chair and looked at the rest of her plate.

"Got me all the enemies, of course. But man was it satisfying upstaging them," she said, before looking at Lunda, rather intensely. "That was probably the moment I stopped thinking of myself as nothing more than a slave, so your master'll just have to forgive me for holding on to it."

Well, that was a difficult story to follow up. Niall was silent, observing her.

Finally, he spoke. "I don't think-" Niall said slowly, "-that something that defines a person like that could or should be let go. When I think of similar things from my own life, if I even can..." His lips pressed together for a moment. "I'm not sure that I can. Or that I would want to."

"Well you're not a Jedi... we have to train ourselves to be more... to be better," Lunda said confidently.

"You can't be *more* if you're not *anything* at all," she said, stabbing at the last bit of food remaining on her plate. "Throwing away your past is worse than being dragged down by it. Without our past we are empty."

She pointed the food covered utensil at Lunda, emphasizing her point. "You just need to figure out how to walk the line."

"Better?" Niall's eyebrows went up a little as he glanced at Lunda, his lips pressing together to suppress a smile. "I don't quite understand what you mean. Better how?" His question was mostly teasing.

"Hmmm." He paused a moment, taking a bite of the least lumpy thing on his plate, chewing, swallowing. "It's my understanding that Jedi are allowed connections, but discouraged from attachments. Is that what you mean, walking a line?"

"It's simple really. If you get attached, you have something to lose. Fear of losing it can lure you over to the darkside. So a lot of Jedi, ironically, are afraid of forming attachments. But in my opinion that just makes them more vulnerable, not less."

"Which is why you are a Padawan, like me, you don't fully see the ramifications," Lunda responded.

"We define ourselves in the moment."

"I see them just fine. I just don't agree with those who think the solution is to cut themselves off from their feelings. That attitude is precisely why there's Sith in the first place, because reaching for that impossible ideal makes so many Jedi unequipped to handle the consequences of failing to reach it."