Bankor

Layne Hoshin wrote:"I see them just fine. I just don't agree with those who think the solution is to cut themselves off from their feelings. That attitude is precisely why there's Sith in the first place, because reaching for that impossible ideal makes so many Jedi unequipped to handle the consequences of failing to reach it."

"Then they fail themselves," Lunda replied.

She really did try to resist the urge to eyeroll.

"And you don't see how that might be indicating a bigger problem? Tell me, did you grow up in the order?"

“Of course, I have known this life since before I could crawl,” she said calmly.

“I have spent my whole life preparing to become a Jedi.”

"So you don't actually know what life is like outside the order. You've been living a sheltered life. So it's like this. Take a mouse that's never seen other animals, and put it in a room with a dangerous snake. And do the same thing in another room, but with a mouse that almost got its head bit off by a snake once. Which mouse would you bet on?"

“Neither, all things die… just because that mouse survived one snake won’t mean it will survive another and the mouse that has never seen a snake may still avoid death, nothing is ever certain Layne, the future shifts,” she replied.

“If it is my fate to return to the Force today, then it will be, and I will accept it.”

She sighed.

"But if you *had* to pick one, you'd pick the mouse with the experience to know when to run away. It just has the better odds. Now I'm not saying this is about dying or not dying. The mice are us. The snakes are all the things in life that can pull us to the dark side. I *know* the dark side. I know what it is. What it isn't. What it can do. How it feels. I know where it leads. Now you may have been told about all that. But that doesn't mean you *understand* it. That's what gets so many Jedi who were raised in the order, sheltered from everything, told to cut themselves off. For some, it works. For others, it works only until life forces itself on them, and then they don't know to deal with it... which is when they become open to the dark side."

“Weakness in a home begins in the foundations, if you have not created a strong connection to the Light Side, then the Dark will find a way in,” she responded.

"Then how do you explain me being here?"

Layne Hoshin wrote:"Then how do you explain me being here?"

"You were always meant to be here," she said.

"That doesn't really fit what you just said about the future always being uncertain, does it? Besides, this is all well and good, but it doesn't really mean I'm wrong about what I said to begin with, does it?"

Niall cleared his throat. "These are complicated questions. Speaking for myself, I feel as though I have more than when we began." His lips quirked. "As someone who enjoys study, that's not a bad thing by any means. I just thought I'd comment on it."

"Oh look at him... he's adorable, I am keeping him... gonna name him Cuddles," she said smiling at Niall.

Niall blinked. He hadn't been expecting that. "Another nickname. I'm not sure if I like that one or Captain Alderaan better."

He looked at the Padawan, his lips quirking. "If I get one, it seems only fair that you get one. What about..." He looked at her a few moments before nodding seriously. "Sparkles. Yes. That's it."

She sighed. Quite audibly.

“Jedi Master Sparkles is already well respected, not sure if he would appreciate another Sparkles,” she said with a serious face.

"He?" Niall asked, one eyebrow going up. He shook his head. "Well, far be it from me to be responsible for upsetting Jedi Master Sparkles." He gave Lunda a sidelong glance. "I'll just have to come up with another name, then. Give me some time to think on it."

He looked back and forth between his two dinner companions, frowning. "Ah... I'm afraid being called Cuddles has quite thrown me off. What were we discussing?"

"We were discussing Jedi philosophy on forming attachments when the two of you decided you want to bang."

Lunda laughed, “Wow… you are so weird. You never teased anyone before? Hi you’re cute and cuddly does not equal please ravish me. Well maybe among the Sith, because nice is probably so rare. I bet Sith are like I hate you, I hate you too… then cut to weird edgy lovemaking?”

“Or maybe Layne has a crush… I am so sorry I didn’t mean to intrude!” Now she looked embarrassed thinking she had interfered in some master plan.

Niall suddenly found that he wasn't sure which of his two companions he was more uncomfortable looking at. He took a deep breath, studying his food for a few moments.

But... "I seriously doubt that the Sith call it 'lovemaking'." He said, his grey eyes flickering up once more. "Surely they have some other term for it." His gaze went to Layne. "Layne? You're the expert. On the Sith, I mean." He cleared his throat.

“Oh yeah… Padawan Layne please teach us about the Sith and the Corellian Bees,” she said with a wide smile.

Layne once more facepalmed.

These people...

"Because of course I'd get invited to all the blood orgies?" she said, sighing. "Sith aren't complicated. They wanna fuck, they fuck. They wanna have complicated polygamous relationships, they have 'em. They wanna have their teen pregnancies, they have 'em. Well, it isn't exactly healthy, most of the time. The way they go about it."

Niall cleared his throat. "Well, I suppose now we know what they call it anyway."

He took a bite of his food. It was hard not to like Lunda. But he also, in a strange way, liked Layne. Could the gap between them be bridged.

"It sounds like they're people. Important to remember. Just as Jedi our people. I imagine they do at least, uh, some of those things. From time to time." Niall's lips pressed firmly together. It didn't seem the right time to blurt out that his sorta-girlfriend was a Jedi.

"As padawan Baesal said once to me, we Jedi poodoo just like everyone else," she said laughing at the crude joke.

"Oh... she's hilarious!"

She rolled her eyes. "...yeah. Hilarious."

There was a slight pause.

"But she was alright to have around at Korriban."

“What! Oh my… I am totally going to ask her to give me all the dirt on you now,” she responded with a laugh.